Before We Shatter
by N.V.9
Summary: In a day when old ways mix with new, arranged marriages are as common as everything else. When Hidan is forced into a marriage he lets Haku know how little he's wanted. Haku went in believing in love for all time, but perhaps he wasn't meant to grasp it with his own hands as he suffers in Hidan's uncaring presence.
1. Chapter 1

**1**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story. **

Hidan was pissed. He was beyond pissed, to the point of wishing to kill someone. Just this morning he was told by his father that he would marry a boy from a few towns over. Told that he would go through the ceremony in a weeks time and so had to finish up anything he needed to, in the house he had been building since he was twelve.

He'd always knew he would marry. Always knew someone would take on his name and and start a family with him. Always knew that he'd have to give up Mei and her child someday.

Mei was seven years older then him. A woman widowed at only twenty one when her husband had passed away. Hidan had been smitten with her from the get go. He remembered being pissed at forced to watching her marry another man and bare another man's child. He had always been relieved when that bastard failed to have give her a child. He also been so pissed when they finally had a son of all things. Then when that jackass had finally died, Hidan had went to comfort her. He was only fourteen then. Fourteen and a man in love. He had helped keep her home from falling apart, helped support her son, Inari. He had been there for six years now, and in that six years had only been her lover for three.

Now he was being forced to give them up. The boy he saw as his son, who saw him as his father, wouldn't be in his life. Though he knew he'd have to give them up, Hidan didn't think it would come this soon.

He had never met his soon-to-be wife. Had no idea what he looked like. He just knew his name was Haku. With this mysterious Haku, he would be forced to produce a child with. Be forced to protect. He didn't love Haku, couldn't stand the thought of him already. He wanted nothing from Haku and he'd let the other know once they married.

Deciding he liked that thought, Hidan stalked out of his one story home. Passing Naruto, a fifteen year old working on his own place for when he married Sasuke the day after Sasuke turned fifteen two months from now, Hidan paused. "What are you doing?" he demanded, watching as Naruto carved into a log.

"Working on a craddle." Naruto answered, as he continued to work, his eyes never leaving the bowl of the log.

"Didn't you make two already?" Hidan asked, moving toward the younger teen, pushing pass the white gate.

"Yeah, but Sasuke decided he wants three kids now." Naruto answered, pausing to blow some of the wood shavings away as he tilted the wood.

"I thought he said he was only giving birth twice?" Hidan asked, almost laughing at Naruto's sigh of amusement.

"He changed his mind. He said he wants three kids in case two of them hate eachother." Naruto said, putting the wooden bowl back into place and carving out a few more inches. Hidan had to give it to the kid. Naruto was a natural at this. He had seen some of Naruto's work, from chairs to cribs, tables to the house itself. Naruto knew what he was doing, had the patiences for what he was doing too as he built a two story house, then made a basement, attic, and cellar because Sasuke wanted them. Next to the kid's place, Hidan's house kind of looked like a dump. Anyone's house looked like a dump.

Of course everything Naruto made was for Sasuke. From every design that he carved to every thing that he made, painted, or fixed, everything was what Sasuke wanted. Having known that both would marry from as young as six, Sasuke wasted no time in letting Naruto know what he wanted. And Sasuke wanted a lot. Naruto didn't seem to care, he liked working with his hands. Heck if Naruto wasn't working on Sasuke's new project, that usually took about a week with Naruto working on the farm as well as making Sasuke happy, he was mostly working on something he wanted. Mostly toys for the sons and daugthers he had yet to have. Though most men couldn't sew, stitch, or anything with needle work, Naruto could. When people found out, Naruto had been the butt of everyones jokes, until they saw his work. Yes Sasuke would be making, probably had already made, all the pillows, blankets, baby clothes, his own clothes and some for Naruto, and anything that required a needle, but Naruto could still work as good as anyone. Losing his mother at two, Naruto and Minato were forced to learn and teach themselves how to run both sides of the house hold. Minato still had some problems but Naruto tended to make up for what his father couldn't do.

"So I'm guessing he found out you finished child number two's toy box?" Hidan chuckled, sitting on the porch railing, the carvings on it, not making a picture, but still looking beautiful. It was smooth and even running his fingers over it, Hidan didn't feel any of the indents that should have been there.

"Yeah, he found out yesterday. Itachi told him." Naruto shrugged, running sand paper over the inside. "It's okay though, I have a few toy soliders, teddy bears, and a few bouncy balls that didn't fit in the other toy boxes."

"You gonna tell me how you made the balls?" Hidan asked, as everyone always did. So far Naruto wouldn't say, but he did make them for other parents to give to their children. Hell Naruto was always trading items that people wanted for what he needed. Everyone in their town and towns over had more then a handful of things made by Naruto's hands. Though people lied and said they made everything themselves, as was custom. Not that Naruto cared, he just made what they wanted if he had time between making things for Sasuke and just for fun. Hidan had told Naruto to just go into business making things and Naruto had said if he did that, he wouldn't find it soothing anymore.

"No, I'll give you one though." Naruto chuckled. "Got myself a red, blue, green, white, yellow, black, and orange one right now. Though if Sasuke hears about the black one, that one is off the market, so to speak. I'm working on how to dye the different colors together so they have more shades, you know like the one's they sell in the store? I almost had it, but I screwed up somewhere and needless to say it came out the ugliest shade of brown and green. Tore it up and tossed it."

"I'll take the blue one. Inari would love it." Hidan decided, shaking his head at Naruto's words. Only Naruto would toss something away if it didn't meet what he wanted.

"Alright, I'll toss in the white one too." Naruto said, putting down his tools as he stretched and walked to the homemade box near the door. Lifting the lid he reached in and grabbed them.

"Why?" Hidan frowned as he took both. "Inari only needs one."

"I know, every kid needs one though." Naruto answered.

"I don't understand."

"You know, for when your own kid comes."

"My own kid?"

"Yeah, I heard from my da, that spoke to yours, he said you were getting married soon." Naruto said, thoughtfully. "Was he speaking hot air again?"

"No." Hidan bit out, taking both of the toys.

"Alright." Naruto said as he sat back down and got back to work. Not even bothering to ask what was wrong. That was another good thing about the kid, Naruto respected privacy. He knew when to ask a question and when to let things go and move on.

"I'm going to Mei's if anyone ask for me." Hidan said, tossing the white ball toward his own property not caring where it landed inside his own fenced yard.

"Alright, tell her hi for me."

"Naruto," Sasuke called as he walked through Naruto's gate and headed toward them, a folder in hand. Even at fourteen, Sasuke was a very beautiful boy. If not for already being promised to Naruto, many others would have tried for his hand. Hidan would give it to the two, both Naruto and Sasuke would make beautiful babies.

"Looks like you got your work cut out for you." Hidan forced a chuckle as he nodded toward Sasuke. "See you two later." he called out louder.

"Bye," Sasuke said for both of them as he thrust the folder into Naruto's hands. "Naruto, I have some more plans. We are having a baby girl so we need..."

Shaking his head at the two, Hidan left them alone and headed a few blocks over to Mei's home. Her house was smaller than Hidan's. Only two bedrooms and small kitchen and sitting room, a bathroom off to the side.

He had barely reached the front door when it was jerked open and Inari came running out.

"Papa!" he shouted as he jumped into Hidan's arms. "What is that?"

"This, baby, is a ball made by Naruto and given just to you." Hidan said handing the boy the ball. "Now you have to take care of it and thank Naruto when you see him."

"Okay!" Inari grinned, shimmering down to start playing.

Smiling at the child's display, Hidan turned to find Mei watching him, her arms crossed and a glare on her face. "Something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"You could say that." she bit out.

"Care to tell me?" he asked moving closer, stopping when her glare intensified.

"I ain't no one's whore, Hidan. If all you wanted was kicks and giggles, you made a big mistake."

"Say again? Mei I didn-"

"I heard you were getting married Hidan. To another person! Here I thought you'd make an honest woman out of me and instead you go and look up another's skirt!" she shouted, uncaring of Inari watching them.

"Mei, I didn't choose to marry him. You know our laws. I have to marry who my Father tells me to."

"You said you'd try to convince him to let you marry me." Mei snapped.

"I was, he wouldn't hear any of it-"

"I'm not the woman on the side." Mei stopped him, her hand held up. "I thought you loved me-"

"I do, Mei I've been chasing your tail for six years!"

"No, if you loved me, you would have been marrying me." Mei glared. "I don't want you to come over anymore. I don't want you near my son or near me or my home. We're done and over with from here on out."

"Mei-" Hidan gaped in shock.

"I'm taking my boy and moving in with my Father and Mother." Mei went on.

"That's four states over!"

"I don't care. I don't want anything to do with you. I can't look at you anymore. I don't even want to chance running into you or your new whore." Mei hissed, slapping him across the face. "Inari get inside!"

"But Mama-"  
"Inside now!" Mei shouted, causing the boy to jump and run in. When he went to pass her, Mei took the ball and forced it into Hidan's arms. "My son won't be needing that anymore." she said, as she turned around and stalked inside. Even as the door slammed on his face, Hidan could only stand there in shock.

V^-^V

Haku was nervous. For the last two weeks he had been preparing and packing for his trip to his future husband's home. Ever since he was a child, he had dreamed of this. Had wondered who his husband would be. Now he was going to find out. For the last nine years, ever since he was a child of six, he had been sewing and making things he would need in their home. Little odds and ends that would decorate the house. A table cloth that had taken him years to make. Bed sheets and pillow cases. Rugs and carpets. Towels and blankets. Baby clothes and teddy bears. And as soon as he met his husband, he'd start working on clothes for him.

"You alright?" his brother-in-law, Zabuza, asked him.

"I'm fine." Haku nodded, feeling butterflies. "You met him, right? Is he nice?"

"He was quiet, didn't say a whole lot. Than again your Da and his old man were the ones doing all the talking." Zabuza shrugged as he drove. "But Haku, if he even lifts his hands to you, hit him where it hurts and run back to me. I don't care what your Da says, I'll hide you."

"He won't hit me." Haku told his brother, laughing at his brother's protective nature. "And I can't keep running back to you anymore, big brother. You have a family now."

"You are my family. The kids love you and Hanare doesn't like you living so far away." Zabuza said speaking of his wife and Haku's older sister. Both had been married for a total of seven years. Four kids created from that time. When their Da told both him and his sister that Hanare would marry Zabuza, a man with no family or nothing to his name save for the small company he owned, Hanare had been stunned. She refused to even love him. Little did she know she'd fall right in love on the day they met. They were perfect together, and their life is what Haku wanted with his own husband.

"Yes and soon I'll add to our family." Haku grinned, causing Zabuza to roll his eyes. "I'll be fine, big brother. Da wouldn't pick a man not respectable for me."

Which was true. Kisame Hoshigaki may have been a hard man to get along with and live with- raising two sons in his image, Mangetsu, twenty, and Suigetsu, eighteen, a daughter, Hanare, twenty-two, and the last of the bunch, Haku, sixteen, both raised in their mother's image-but the man demanded the best for his kids and wanted nothing but to make sure they were well taken care of or knew how to take care of their future wives. He may have loved his kids and wife, but it didn't stop him from being the dicator he was. Since Hanare-married seven years ago-, Mangetsu-married four-, and Suigetsu-married two- were doing well being married and Mangetsu and Hanare even having children, all could say Kisame did a good job on their part. People once told Haku that his Da was the worst man to know or talk to. Always ready for a fight as he insulted and made demands and orders left and right. But all those people had also said that once he married their Mother, Ameyuri, he had mellowed some and even became somewhat likeable. Which made Haku wonder what his Da was like before his Mother came along.

"I know, but...Haku you are the baby of the bunch, only sixteen so I worry about you. Even your brothers are worried, though they won't say so." Zabuza said.

"I'm a year pass marrying age. I should have been married off last year." Haku laughed at Zabuza's narrowed eye look. "You and my brothers should all stop worrying, else Da will think you're insulting him."

"Which is why we haven't told anyone, but I bet he's worried to." Zabuza said quickly. "He kept going over eveything for our drive this way. Since he had to be there before us to finalize a few things, he wanted to make sure I didn't screw up."

"I am the last of his kids to get married, it's only natural he should act all surly. After me he and Mother don't have anyone under their roof anymore."

"I don't know this man. Your brothers don't know him either...if he does anything that even scares you, just tell us okay." Zabuza practically begged.

"I will." Haku promised, laughing at his brother-in-law.

Vv-vV

The town they arrived in was beautiful. Farm land surrounded the whole place, workers already seeing to the fields. And within the center of it was a place so green and beautiful, it took Haku's breath away. He knew he looked like a child with his face pressed against the window, but he didn't care. Seeing trees and grass like this instead of like his home, which were all smaller in size there, was memorizing. The buildings, various sizes, each stood proud and well kept. Stores lined the road they were on, and Haku even saw an ice cream shop. When they passed the busy street of shoppers, Haku just wanted to go back.

"You'll be seeing it more often, Haku." Zabuza laughed. "You'll be living here."

"Oh, yes, I can't wait." Haku nodded, turning to face the front again. When Zabuza finally pulled into a parkinglot, a plain brick building in front of them, Haku frowned. "Where are we?"

"The courthouse." Zabuza answered. "Your Da's car is over there and there's your Mother coming now."

"I'm getting married." Haku gasped, feeling the butterflies flutter almost painfully in his belly. "I knew I was..."

"Calm yourself Haku. If you like I can speed back home now." Zabuza said.

"No you won't, boy." Ameyuri scolded her son-in-law as she opened Haku's door. "You will drive straight to this address and drop off Haku's belongings." she went on handing Zabuza a piece of paper as she pulled Haku out of the car. "Love, your gown is inside. You're going to look dashing in it." she laughed, kissing Haku's cheek as she hurried them inside. "Your Da is inside pretending like he doesn't wish to cry. I cried though," she admitted, making Haku laugh. "But he will on the way home. I'll consule him and then beat him over the head for making you live so far."

"Mother, it's only an hour away."

"An hour too long. Your Da told me a few towns over. He failed to mention that the towns were spread out quite a ways." she frowned as she tugged Haku into an empty room. "Remove your clothes and put this on." she said reaching for the white simple gown. "It feels like yesterday I was making Hanare's dress. Then Mangetsu's and Suigetsu's suit. Now I made your dress and...oh I'm going to cry again." She finished dabbing at her eyes.

"Mother, I'll be fine. I'll come visit you when I get settled."

"Or I can make your Da move us here...and my children will of course follow me, because I'm there mother and they love me." she finished, helping Haku pull the dress on.

"They aren't all going to move here for me Mother." Haku said as he turned so that his mother could tie the ribbon in the back.

"I would, love." his mother whispered, hugging him from behind and kissing his head. "I'd move a million miles for you. My baby boy is getting married. My little angel...Oh Haku, I'm not ready to let you go yet."

"You had a year to practice." Haku grinned, feeling his own eyes water up. After today, who'd knew when he'd be able to see his family again. He knew he'd be happy here, but he'd miss his family. Miss seeing them everyday as they all came over for dinner. Miss Hanare and his gossip time as they stitched something or other. Miss Mangetsu and the way his brother would tell him what to do. Miss Suigetsu making him laugh as they made fun of their older brother. Miss his nephews and nieces coming to him for a new toy to play with. Miss his Mother as they made cake together every morning and caught his Da eating the rest of it at night. And he'd miss his Da the most. His Da was the one that taught him to read and write. That taught him to appreciate the silence of a busy day. His Da always had time for him. He may have seemed uncaring, but his Da loved him and he loved his Da. Now he wouldn't be able to go on Sundays to the fishmarket with the man or hear his Da talking about something an idiot did that day. "Mother you will visit me right?"

"Of course love. Your Da and I will stop at nothing to see you as much as we can." his mother promised. "You look beautiful." His mother smiled as she handed Haku a single white rose. "I'm so proud of you, love."

"I love you Mother."

"I love you." his mother got out through trembling lips as she kissed his forehead. Hearing the door open, both turned to find his Da in his best suit watching them. "I'll see you out there, love."

Nodding as his Mother left, grabbing Haku's clothes on the way. Haku looked at his Da and waited. "You look beautiful." his Da said gruffly, like always, not giving away what he was feeling or thinking.

"Thank you Da,"

With a nod and a look around the room Kisame motioned for Haku to come to him. Doing as his Da commanded, Haku headed toward him and hugged him tightly. "He's a good man Haku." his Da promised him, hugging him back. "He works in the fields, as all men do here. He's kind, his Father said so. Said Hidan took care of a child that wasn't his once the child's own father died. He has money, enough to support you and your children. His house is in good condition, waiting for you to place your belongings within. Saw it myself, his wood work is good. Knows what he's doing."

"Okay Da," Haku nodded into his Father's chest.

"He'll love you." his Da finished, kissing his head. "Little one...I..."

"I love you too, Da," Haku smiled as his father faultered on his words. "I'll miss you."

"Same here, child." Kisame said, pulling back and cupping Haku's cheek. With a nod and a rare smile, Kisame stepped back and opened the door. Threading his arm through his Father's, Haku let his Da lead him toward the courtroom.

"Da?"

"Hm?"

"Will you come visit me too?" Haku asked knowing that if that's what his Mother wanted, that's what they all would have to do, even his siblings.

"When I can, little one." His Father said, never looking at him as he walked like the proud man he was. Looking every inch as cold and uncaring as Haku knew his Da wasn't. "Sundays won't be the same."

Giggling at his father's admission, Haku continued to walk beside him, glancing up to see a small tilt of his father's lips before it disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story. **

Haku stood side by side with Hidan, both listening to the preacher finish the ceremony and pronounce them man and wife. Neither spoke save to speak their vowes. And when it came time for the kiss, Haku felt himself blushing as Hidan quickly placed his lips against his own and pulled away.

The kiss was special to Haku, no matter how quickly it happened. It was his first kiss with his new husband. The first of many to follow. Looking at his husband now, Haku was almost giddy with excitment. His husband was certainly handsome and, from the looks of it, his new husband was exactly like his Da. The cold indifference and demanding presence reminding him so much of his Da. He looked like a man that ordered your eyes toward him without saying a word. That got what he wanted with only a look. That wasn't afraid to work and would rather die then cry. Yes, Hidan was like his Da. Just that thought brought a small smile from Haku. Maybe like his Da, Hidan hid his emotions, only to display them to chosen people. He couldn't be this cold and uncaring all the time, right? Of course not. As soon as they were home, Hidan would open up. Just like his Mother said their Da did, though their Da denied ever being nice at all.

With his hands on Hidan's arm, Haku let his husband lead him away from his family. Looking over his shoulder, Haku whispered good-bye to his Da and Mother. What he wasn't expecting was seeing his Da's eyes water up before blinking his unshed tears away. Just seeing his Da this emotional was almost Haku's undoing. Turning away from them quickly, he took a breath and tried not to cry.

V^-^V

It took only ten minutes before Haku caught the first glimpse of his home. The whole way there, Hidan had said little to nothing to him. His Da was right. The place was beautiful. A single story home that looked like it was waiting for children to run about. As they pulled into the driveway, Haku slightly frowned as Hidan just got out and walked toward the home. Haku brushed it off as two strangers forced together. Maybe when Hidan became used to him, he'd be more like Haku had seen his brothers be to their wives behind closed doors.

Following his new husband inside, Haku stopped by the front door, all of his belongings in trunks waiting to be brought in. Believing Hidan would take them in later, after showing him the house, Haku pushed open the front door and frowned when he didn't see Hidan anywhere. Walking in, he glanced at the almost empty room. Everything waiting for Haku's items to be placed and brought out. The room was dark, the furniture simple but elegant. The inside was a little smaller then his old home. A hallway leading off between the kitchen and the living room, a dining table separating the two.

"Hello?" he called out when he didn't spot his husband. Hearing a noise coming from the hallway, Haku continued on, his steps making no sound on the wooden floor. Once in the hallway he spotted five doors. One was open revealing a bathroom. Across from that was another door. Opening it, Haku found a small closet with almost nothing inside. Closing the door, he continued on. The next door was a bedroom, Hidan was sitting on the bed, looking at a picture in his hands. "Is this where I'll be sleeping?" Haku asked. His voice making Hidan jump as he turned his head to glare at him. Surprised by Hidan's aggression, Haku took a few steps back quickly. Without a word, Hidan placed the picture in his shirt pocket and grabbed a jacket from the bed post. "I have things to do." was all he said as he stalked out of the room. Before Haku could stop him, he heard the front door open and slam shut.

"It's okay, Haku," he told himself, looking around and not seeing anything. "this is new for both of you. You both have to adjust and then everything would get better." Nodding as he forced himself to believe that, Haku looked into the room. Beside the queen size bed decorated with a badly stitched sheet, there was two night stands to either side. A dresser lined one wall opposite what Haku assumed was a closet. There were a few empty shelves that looked perfect for pictures of his family and friends. Deciding that he wanted to see the rest of his new home, Haku headed toward the next door. Inside was a slightly smaller bedroom. The items inside let Haku know that this was meant to be a child's room. His child's room. With a grin spreading across his lips, he walked inside and spent the next twenty minutes looking around. Touching everything, lifting the smaller items as he looked them over, before putting them back down

After going and looking everything over many times, Haku finally left the room, closing the door, though he didn't wish to and headed toward the last door. The last room looked like a small storage room. Barely enough room to hold four people side by side to either direction. Within it were boxes unlabeled and taped shut. Not wanting to snoop in his husband's things, Haku opened the other door inside of the room. Surprisingly it lead to the back yard. In the back yard he found a shed that most likely housed all the garden tools and other unneeded items. But beyond the shed, there was almost nothing save for the grass that looked as if it had just been cut. Closing the door and heading back toward the front of the house, Haku decided that this would work.

Once Hidan became used to him, everything would be as it should. His husband would love him as his Da loved his Mother. Moving toward the front door, Haku began to bring in one trunk at a time, dragging it over the threshold and set to work pulling everything out. He'd make his husband love him. He'd make this empty house a home for them and their future family.

Vv-vV

Hidan arrived the next morning at six. Throughout the night he spent hounding other friends, drinking with some and fighting with others. Finally when he was tossed out of Sasori's home, he had returned back to the last place he wanted to be.

His heart hurt. He had yet to see Mei and Inari. He knew both had yet to leave, but he had yet to run into them. He walked or drove pass their house to try and talk to her, but the house always looked empty. He tried to stumble on them in town but he was always fifteen minutes too late.

He wanted to get down on his knees and beg for Mei's forgivness. Tell her he loved her and only her, but that was impossible now. Would remain so until either he divorced Haku or one or the other died. There was a better chance of dying first though. No one divorced in today's day and age. Even if their marriage was the most miserable one out there. Everyone suffered through it and hoped it ended soon.

Walking into his home was a shock Hidan wasn't ready for. The place...it didn't even look like his anymore. There were pillows on the couches, cushions on the chairs. A table cloth on the table. Little items covering the shelves, like glass sculptures, bowls, little dolls that had seen better days. On the floor, right below his feet, was a rug. Looking farther, he found more of them put in certain places, almost like they were signifying where you had to stand to do one thing. There were books lining the empty shelf leading toward the hallway, along with pictures. Everything was finely made and well taken care of. Everything was beautiful.

And Hidan hated it with every fiber of his being. Everything here was supposed to be Mei's. Mei's belongings were supposed to decorate his home. Even if she wasn't the best with a needle, this was supposed to be her masterpiece. Not wanting to see anymore of this garbage, Hidan stalked toward his room. Pushing open the door, he frowned as he saw his wife sleeping in the center of the bed. The bed with new sheets and blankets. Where was his own? Mei had made him the other ones, where were they? Looking around the room in a slight panic, Hidan quickly moved toward the closet. Inside he found his clothes pressed to the side and Haku's hung up with his own.

"You're awake," Haku said, causing him to turn and face the younger raven. "I didn't hear you come back. I'll make you breakfast-"

"Where is it?" Hidan demanded, barely holding onto his anger.

"Where is what?" Haku asked, a frown appearing on his face.

"Where is the sheet? Where is the sheet that was on the bed!" he shouted, making Haku jump in response. "Tell me where the fuck it is!"

"I-it's in the storage room in the back." Haku said quickly, his eyes filled with fear and shock. "I put it in there."

Without waiting to hear what else he'd say, Hidan moved quickly toward the storage room and slammed the door open. Right on one of Haku's trunks was the blanket made in grey and brown. Grabbing it gently, Hidan held it to his heart as he moved back toward his room. Without saying anything to Haku, he grabbed the new sheets and tossed them toward Haku, the raven in the process of standing. Pushing everything off the mattress, Hidan set the blanket back where it belonged. "Don't touch it." He glared as Haku stood watching him.

"I'm sorry." Haku said, looking as if he wanted to cry.

"Don't touch anything else. It's bad enough I'm married to you. I don't want to be reminded constantly of it." Hidan snapped, turning toward the closet and grabbing some clothes. "Take your shit and put it somewhere else." was all he said before stalking toward the bathroom and slamming the door. When he was done with his shower, he found Haku making breakfast, the smell of bacon and eggs floating about the room. He had never smelt anything so good. Mei couldn't cook to save her life, but he ate everything she made. Ignoring the plate being set at the table for him, Hidan walked pass Haku and headed out the door. He wouldn't eat shit off of Haku's plates.

V^ -^V

Over the next few weeks, Haku felt everything he wanted to believe crumble to the truth. Hidan made it no secret he didn't want him there. He wouldn't speak to him save to insult him or make him feel like dirt. He wouldn't eat anything Haku made, always ignoring it as he left or went to bed. Hidan was never home during the night and came back in the morning. Not even bothering to tell Haku where he was at. Haku had even made every meal when Hidan wasn't there and left it on the table for his husband, but still the man refused to touch it. Refused to even see it. So far, Hidan made no move to even make love to him. Their marriage was still in the beginning process and Hidan didn't seem to care.

He may have never lifted his hands toward him, but Haku still felt as if he were being slapped with a look from Hidan. His body had no bruises or markings, but his soul and his heart were bleeding raw.

A few times when his husband was home, Haku felt hated. Hidan never spoke to him. Went on as if Haku was not there. Haku wouldn't cry when he was refused an answer or ignored. He did his own thing, moving into the other room and sleeping on the floor, not that Hidan noticed. Hidan didn't notice anything about him, and Haku pretended it didn't hurt.

Vv-vV

Haku frowned in his sleep as he slowly began to wake. He wasn't sure what was waking him, just that something didn't feel right. In his fog like state, he briefly made out something wet sliding against his neck and shoulder as the cold air brushed against his skin. When his legs were forced apart, and something pressed against him, he blinked his blurry eyes and found his husband above him, smelling of alcohol. "Hidan?" he got out tiredly.

"My father expects kids." Hidan growled angrily, his eyes unfocused. "It was in our parents contract. A kid within nine months."

"What?" Haku said, waking up fully, and finally realizing what was going on. He was still sleeping in the second room, on the floor, and he was bare from the waist down, his legs spread and held in place by Hidan's hands. His husband still wore all his clothes but his jeans were pushed down to his knees, and his erection was pressed against Haku's bottom. "Hidan-"

"Let's give them a fucking kid." Hidan snarled as he slammed his hips against Haku.

"AH!" Haku screamed in pain as he tried to close his legs, tears building in his eyes and his hands digging into Hidan's coat. "It hurts!" he whimpered as he squeezed his eyes shut wishing for it to end. Instead of answering, Hidan pulled out only to push back in, the rhythm he had uneven and each stroke as painfilled as the first. Biting his lip to hold back the screams that wished to escape, Haku held onto Hidan's shoulders. Not minutes later, Hidan shuddered above him before falling to his side. The second he hit the floor he was out and all Haku could feel was the pain burning between his legs and the sob wishing to escape.

With slow movements, he forced himself to crawl toward the bathroom, wishing so badly to be cleaned. It took him forever just to make it to the bathroom and a little longer just to get into the tub and turn on the water. Not caring about the shirt he wore or that the water was freezing cold, Haku pulled his legs into his chest, crying as he watched the blood go down the drain.

With each beat of his heart, he felt himself going numb. He finally let his fantasy fade away as reality hit him hard.

He wanted to make everything better. He wanted to have a family of his own. But he knew it was hopless now. Tomorrow, he decided in his broken state, when Hidan went to work, he'd put everything of his away. Packed up everything he added to the house and reverted the place to before he came.

He felt like such a failure to his Da. He couldn't leave here, he didn't want to shame his Da, but Haku wanted so badly to go home. Instead he would suffer with a husband that hated him and broke his heart. He only begged that his family would never came. That they'd forget about him for good. Because Haku knew the second he saw his family, he'd beg for them to take him home.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story. **

Haku calmly wiped at the dust lining the surfaces around the house. He sweeped up the dirt that gathered on the ground, and beat the only rug left on the floor outside. He tossed out the rotten food in the fridge, cleaning out the mess within. Once that was done, he turned away from the empty room, his belongings all packed away in his trunks, and moved toward the shed in the back

He had made this his new place, his sanctuary. He had created a home here, hiding within when his husband was around, and only leaving when his husband left. It had taken weeks of being bitten by spiders and insects for the place to be cleaned and liveable. It had taken him days of sleeping in the storage room within the house, refusing to enter the second bedroom, for the windows to be fixed on the shed.

He had done everything at night. During the day, he pretended like he was simply cleaning the yard, but in reality he was cleaning his new home. Opening the door to the shed, he moved toward the only piece of furniture that would fit, a forgotten mattress that Haku had cleaned and fixed relentlessly.

With a tired gaze, he rested upon the mattress, hugging his knees to his chest, his mind taking him back to that night a month ago. Even now he felt violated, broken. Sex between husband and wife wasn't supposed to be that painful, that angry. Hanare had told him stories of her first time with Zabuza, his sisters-in-law had told him stories about their own first time with his brothers. In each one they had said it hurt in the beginning but afterwards it had felt pleasurable. Haku knew without a doubt that what he had gone through wasn't what was supposed to happen.

Squeezing his thighs together, almost feeling the phantom pain that refused to leave him, Haku turned his head into the mattress, the homemade couch pillow doing little to support his head, and felt the tears building again.

How could his Da have been so wrong? How could he have choosen the wrong man? His Da never made mistakes. Mistakes didn't occur in his life, and yet Haku was living the first mistake he knew his Da had ever made.

Hidan didn't love him, would never love him. Hidan hated him, wanted him gone. From everything Haku had gathered, Hidan wanted another to take his place, for somebody else to be his wife. For this woman to carry his children, to cook for him, to love him.

Haku always believed himself with a wide open heart, able to forgive anyone their faults. Able to see the light in the shadows, and hope in a fading dream. He believed that everyone had kindness within their hearts and that all cruelity could easily be replaced by said kindness.

His Da always told him that each living person was given a road to follow, each step taken would only take them farther along. Sometimes the roads were filled with twist and turns but other times they were smooth. He said marriage would be the same.

"How could we both be so wrong?" Haku cried. "How could I have been so naive?"

What if he was with a child now? Would Hidan hate him more? Would he love their child or wish it was another's child as well? "I'm sorry," he told his belly, placing a hand gently on his stomach. "If you're in there," he cried softly, "I promise to love you, but I'm so sorry for me being your mother." he sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

V^ -^V

"Hidan," Naruto called out, waving his hand once to get his attention.

With a sigh leaving his lips, Hidan jumped off the quiet tractor, making sure to grab his water bottle, and went to meet Naruto at the edge of the field.

He felt like shit. Felt like the biggest bastard of all time. Shaking his head before his thoughts could cloud his mind, he said, "Hey, kid. How's married life treating you?"

With a slight grin, Naruto flushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "It's nice..." he finally answered, ducking his head and making Hidan chuckle. "I like it. Sasuke likes it to, though it's kind of weird. I mean Sasuke would come over, spend the day there and fix things around, then go home. But now he's living there with me and... even if we were expecting this to happen, it's uh...it still weird." the teenager decided. "But nice, really nice."

"I'm happy for you," Hidan said, "Itachi treat you any differently?" he asked, speaking of his new brother-in-law. Having Itachi as anyones brother-in-law sounded unnerving. That certain Uchiha kind of scared the crap out of everyone when he turned those dark eyes of his on you.

"Not really," Naruto said, "but he does have a lot of advice for me, you know about living with Sasuke and stuff. Though I've known Sasuke forever, I'm learning quite a bit and the advice is helping. Itachi says that living with Sasuke and being married to Deidara, he had to learn fast or run. I'm glad he's there to help me out though, makes a lot of things easier."

"You're still in the honeymoon stage," Hidan replied with a grin as Naruto flushed bright red again. It was funny, Naruto knew he was going to marry Sasuke and knew what was expected to happen. But he highly doubted Naruto actually thought closely on what the term marriage implied. "Did you need something?" he asked, remembering that Naruto had called him over.

"Oh yeah, I don't know where my head is," he said, "I've been scatter brained since marrying Sasuke... Uh, sorry, keep getting distracted. Here." he went on, handing over an envolope. "Boss told me to tell you that he's not your butler." Before Naruto could say more, Kankuro, another worker that had also gotten married, a few weeks ago, called Naruto over. Hidan figured the other probably needed advice on something his own wife wanted made and was forcing Kankuro to make it. Afterall, Naruto was the go to man for the impossible. "I'll talk to you later," Naruto said, heading toward the other, "Oh and before I forget, Sasuke wants you and your wife over for dinner tomorrow sometime this month."

Feeling as if he had been punched in the gut and slapped in the face, Hidan could only manage a, "I'll...see what I can do."

"I'll let him know. Later."

"Later." Hidan answered quietly, feeling like shit once more. Before his drunken night a month ago could come back full force, Hidan opened the envolope.

_Hidan, I know I acted irrationally, and I'm sorry. I miss you and I love you. Please forgive me. Inari still needs his Papa, and I still need you._

_Mei._

A month ago this would have made his heart sore. Would have brought tears to his eyes in joy, now it felt like it burned him.

It was then that that night hit hard, making him flinch. He didn't remember much beyond getting drunk at the bar and then coming home. He knew that the reason he had drank so much was because of the vist he had recieved from his father, telling him he expected grandkids soon. Showing him that it was written down on the contract. A child within a year.

He remembered feeling so angry, so pissed that he did nothing but drink. How he got home, he wasn't sure. From exiting his truck and entering his house, things began to blur. He remembered faintly hearing crying and begging for him to stop, remembered feeling something trying to push him away, but that was it. He had woken up with a hangover, the world tilting crazily, and realization that he wasn't in his room. That he was in the extra bedroom. Only when he looked down at himself, completely exposed and Haku's own clothing torn on the ground, had he felt sick. Sick at what he had done. Sick at the damage he had caused. The anger he had placed all on Haku's shoulders, the blame of everything had vanished as he saw the blood still staining the carpet, streaks leaving the room.

He had done what he had never thought he'd do. The shock had prevented him from crying at what he had done to Haku. The night before, the screaming and begging, the tears, each of them hitting him hard as he realized it was Haku begging. It was Haku wanting him to stop.

Ignoring the hangover, Hidan had pulled up his jeans and ran out of the house. He had driven as far as he could, before pulling over and puking his guts out. He knew it wasn't the alcohol that induced his vomiting. Nor was it the ache in his head that had dropped him to his knees as he cried out for what he had done.

The one he was supposed to cherish the most had suffered the worst at his hands. He had become a monster to an innocent person who had no choice in their marriage. A person that had been put into the marriage as he had, that had accepted it, when Hidan refused it. He had done the worst thing possible. He had raped his wife.

Even now he felt sick to his stomach, felt as if he wanted to shoot himself in the head, drown himself in the river so that Haku wouldn't suffer anymore. So that he could be treated the way a wife was meant to, not the way Hidan had done.

It took three days of being gone from his home before his father had tracked him down, dragging him back. Hidan had fought him, telling his father that he had to stay away, that he couldn't go back. His father had demanded answers, and Hidan couldn't give them.

He had returned home, had stood outside his door. Praying that everything was just a nightmare, that he hadn't done what he did. When he had entered the house, he had felt his heart stop when he found everything Haku had put up gone. Found the house the way it was before...

In a panic he had searched the house for Haku, finding no signs of him anywhere. Only when he opened the storage room had he found Haku's trunks and everything piled within. He had found Haku outside, cleaning out the shed. He wanted to apologize but when Haku had spotted him, he had frozen, the fear filling his eyes. Hidan had only went back into the house and did nothing.

Even now, he did nothing. Haku would freeze up when he came around, would shy away. Everytime Hidan opened his mouth to voice his apology, to beg for forgiveness, Haku bolted, was gone before Hidan could stop him.

"You alright?" Sasori asked, coming up to him and dusting off his cap. "You've been standing here for an hour. Shouldn't you be heading home now?"

"Huh, uh, yeah." Hidan nodded numbly, a picture of Haku in his head. His wife had come to him looking healthy and beautiful, and now he was thin, bags resting under his eyes, his hair was limp and lifeless. He looked on the verge of death. Hell, Hidan knew he wasn't looking any better, but growls and glares tended to keep people from asking questions.

"Are you alright?" Sasori asked when Hidan made no move to leave, the letter in his hand open for him to see the words. "Hidan... please tell me you aren't with that woman still. Tell me that you are faitful to your wife and aren't going back to Mei."

"What?"

"Mei. That letter." Sasori growled, jerking the letter out of Hidan's hands. "This! Why the fuck would you do something like this-"

"I'm not doing shit!" Hidan snarled, taking the letter back, ripping it when Sasori didn't let it go. "Just stay the fuck out of my business!"

"I'm your closest friend, you bastard!" Sasori glared, grabbing Hidan's arm to keep him from taking off. "Stay away from Mei before your own life gets fucked up!"

"I already fucked it up!" Hidan shouted, looking away from Sasori as regret and pain hit him hard. "I fucked up so bad..."

"Hidan-"

"I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know if I should... I fucked up."

Seeing his friend like this, Sasori knew, as he had known, that whatever was going on in Hidan's life was breaking him. He had began to question it when Hidan's wife had lived in their town for a few weeks and no one in town had seen him, minus the few that saw Hidan driving him home. He had even asked Naruto. The blonde had said he never caught a glimps of Hidan's wife, but he wasn't always home so Haku, as everyone knew his name to be, could have been outside when he was gone.

Sasori had wanted to beat his friend badly when he found him looking for Mei durning those first few weeks. Hidan had moped and become more of a bastard up until a month ago, at least. Whatever had happened a month ago had hit Hidan hard. His best friend looked like shit, smelt just as bad, and seemed as if he had no life in him. His eyes were bloodshot to the point that Sasori knew it would take a while to see any other color in them.

When Mei had left him, Hidan had come over, pissed off and shouting, waking up Sasori's own wife in the process. Needless to say, Sakura was not pleased at the interruption and kicked Hidan out before he could wake up their baby girl.

"Is it worth fixing?" Sasori asked his friend softly, seeing the tears building in Hidan's eyes. Seeing the pain radiating off of him so deeply that Sasori felt his own heart bleeding.

"...Yeah..." Hidan bit out through trembling lips as he turned his face away and rubbed roughly at his eyes. "But I don't know if I can-"

"Then fix it." Sasori said. "Do what you can to make it better. Don't stop trying until everything is right. I'm not going to ask what you did, that's none of my business, but I will tell you that if you let this go, if you don't try, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"What more could I regret then what I already do." Hidan answered, leaving Sasori to frown at his words. Without so much as a good-bye, Hidan headed toward his truck, hoping that today he could at least do something good for Haku.


End file.
